Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
