On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
