dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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