Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't think brook has ever known best
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
