I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened