OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.