Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
