she was so not down for the gang bang
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
