I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
