Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The best revenge is premature balding
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
