i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
