Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
