The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
