so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
