Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
