you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
