don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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