Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
FUCK WHALES
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
