Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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