My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
