I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
