i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
