i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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