I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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