Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
