My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
