Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
They have beer where we have blood.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize