yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have feelings that need drinking.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
