I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
