My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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