Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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