Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
