He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize