I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
