wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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