I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
