Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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