rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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