Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
