i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
