The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize