i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
