i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
PANTIES FOUND
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
