me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
