Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
