You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
