So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My dick has a subreddit
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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