Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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