Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
