Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
