dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
