Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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