ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
