Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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