I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
