come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize