I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
