So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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