i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
