We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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